To be a Queen

I've never really wanted to be a princess, and I definitely have never been jealous of the Queen. I think I would be quite miserable if I were to live their lives. Lately, however, I have been wondering what it means to be a queen in my own home.

I recently finished a Bible study on the book of Esther. Within this book, there were a lot of angles to Queen Esther's story that I had never thought of and facts about the time period that made me view her in a different light. One question in particular really made me think. It explained that, before Esther's brave encounter with the King, she had only been called by her title once by the author. After she had risked her life, she is referred to as Queen Esther more frequently. The question was, "Why do you think this is significant?"

I don't know if there is a correct answer per say, but I think that, because Esther was allowing God to work through her, she possessed a certain queenly quality that is hard to describe. Without His power in her life, she could not have demanded the respect, nor portrayed the dignity that the author of the book of Esther saw in her. While I was brainstorming an answer to the above question, I looked up the word queen, wondering if there was a definition that would cover this connotation of the word. None of the definitions satisfied me. I would like to add one. A queen, to fully earn that title, should be filled with a certain peace and assurance that can only come from God. She should have a certain quality that those around her cannot put their finger on. Those around her will respect her because of the Presence that is felt there.

Esther was only a teenage girl, some say about 14. I doubt she was much different than the other girls of her age at the time. She probably had dreams of getting married and having a family of her own. She had been raised to be a proper Jewish girl. Suddenly her whole life was turned haywire. She had to go through nearly a year of beautification processes before even appearing before the King. How terrifying it must have been for this simple Jewish girl to be suddenly thrust into a lavish palace lifestyle, where eunuchs of the king took charge of her life. She was forced to be a part of a culture she had been taught to avoid - her familiar clothing, food, and culture was no longer a part of her life.

Somehow, she kept her belief in God firm throughout all the scary changes. Then, when the day finally came to come before the King for him to judge her outward beauty, surely the beauty of God shone through her as well. Esther knew that if the king decided not to crown her queen, she would be cast aside. She would never be able to marry or have children. She would be hid away from society, and grow old with the king's other cast-aways.

After the King chose Esther as his queen, she had to perform as his wife. How must have she felt? She had no say in anything. Yet, still, through the author's eyes we see that queenly quality shining through.

Do others see a "queenly quality " in me? Do they sense His presence in my heart and wonder how to describe it? Does His presence in my life command a certain respect? I want to be like Esther. I want to chose to have the Something that made her so admirable. I want to have that Something that made her beauty shine from her inner soul. I want to have that Something that makes me brave when I face hardships in life. Even though I would never chose to be a Queen, I want to chose to be a queen for Him.