A Different Kind of Christmas

Have you ever gone shopping for a very special meal without a complete list? Let me rephrase. Have you ever gone shopping for a church Christmas meal without any prior knowledge of the menu, without any recipes to look over? The conversation leading up to this not-super-calm shopping trip went something like this (completely paraphrased) :

December 22, 2024

"So do you have plans tomorrow? Because pretty much... you need to go to Kumasi because it's literally the only day you have left to do that.  The ladies will be here to get things ready for making jollaf the evening of the 24th."

Robert and I looked at eachother and shrugged our shoulders. "Ya. We can make that work.... Um... So... what all are we needing to buy?"

(Que a mad scurry for a pen and paper, a tantrum from a certain just-turned-three year old girl because the pen and paper was not for her, and then the realization that the pen was not going to write more than half a centimeter... thankfully Robert has taken to carrying pens around with him like a proper missionary. It's nice he usually has two cause somehow his wife always seems to need one. Anyway. Just a little detour to show you how life really is. heh. )

"OK. I think I'm ready now."

They proceeded to list off a lot of things. Most of which I was confident about. Then came the seasonings. I honestly wasn't even that stressed with them until I got to the store.

December 23, 2024 

We had good intentions of leaving early. Unfortunately, intentions do not always end in happily ever afters. We eventually rolled out of Kyekyewere thanks to some pain killers and answered prayers. The day looked manageable. I planned to hurry through shopright and grab what we needed while Robert went to the pharmacy and hit the atm; then we could stop at the cold store on the way to Opocos.

Shopright went decent. It took longer than I had hoped but I kind of expected that to happen. I was slightly disappointed that I didn't find a few things but felt quite positive that we could surely get the rest at Opokos. We put our children in the backseat with some very precious yogurt packets and they were mostly happy while we headed towards the cold stores that we had been told about. It didn't take us long to figure out that it was gonna take us a VERY long time to get there. The traffic was just laughable, sadly neither of us found it super humorous. Occasionally we got to watch a random person directing traffic. Of course they were hoping for a little capital from their endeavors, but upon even the slightest scrutiny it was quite obvious to us that they were actually hindering progress. Finally, after sitting in the same place for a few minutes I decided I could just hop out, run up to the cold store, get the two 10 kilo boxes of chicken, then meet Robert about the time he got there and we could be on the way. I would be able to see the big red VIP bus that we were inching along with when I needed to find him. I hopped out and started off. Soon it became quite obvious to me that this section of kumasi was not exactly accustomed to seeing a white women walking their streets. They could quite seem to believe that I wasn't lost, and that I actually was just fine with being there. I talked to a few people as much as my limited twi and my anxiety about robert passing me before I had finished my purchase allowed. The closer I got to the cold stores the more I realized that it was actually quite imperative that I DID get my purchase made and get back in with my family in time because there was no place to even think about parking anywhere. I found the place. I asked about chicken drumsticks, and yes! They had them! The man stooped down And picked up two boxes off the dirt entrance to the store. They seemed thoroughly frozen to me so I figured they must have just been delivered. I paid for them and the man looked around, completely baffled. Soon, between my broken twi and his broken English I understood that he wanted to know what my plan for transporting the chicken was. He was completely bamboozled when I told him that I could carry it. Where was my car? It's heavy and awkward? I glanced around, searching for the red bus. Oh no. There was one way past the intersection in the other direction. Had the traffic sped up? Finally the man understood that I would carry it on my head. He was absolutely thrilled to help me hoist the 20 kilos of chicken onto my head**, albeit somewhat unbelieving of the fact that I actually was going to do this. I smiled, thanked him, assured him that yes, I was fine, it eas not too heavy, for the third time, then hurried off into the masses. I got up to the intersection and had to take a gamble. I was pretty sure that red bus had to be a different one, so I went back the same way I came. Finally, about the time I was ready to turn back to chase the other bus, I caught sight of a big red bus with a white land cruiser behind it. They had not gotten far at all. Maybe 200 yards? Robert hopped out and took the boxes from me.

Eventually we got close enough to Opokos that I jumped out and walked a few blocks worth of distance. I hoped that i could get almost finished before robert got there. Already it was becoming quite apparent that we would not get home before dark. Driving here in the dark just isn't the safest thing. We don't worry to much about being detained or threatened, but the foot traffic and large potholes ect. make for a tiring ordeal, especially for the driver.

I looked that store from top to bottom. I dug thru spice packets, organized bottles of spices in hopes of finding what I needed. We finally left with exactly what we had not came for. The ladies wanted the ginger and garlic mix they usually use, but in a bigger bag because it's cheaper that way. They did not have bigger bags. In fact, they didn't have the small bags, or anything that was at all similar. I picked up a big bag that said it was stew mix and looked it over, almost got it, then decided I best not. After all, I had been told that they didn't want all the spices together. Just the spices for jollof. Not for stew. Just the ginger and garlic mix, and then the other spices separate. My brain was in a muddle. Finally, after completely overthinking everything at least ten times, I grabbed a bottle of ground ginger, one of garlic, and one that was garlic, ginger, and onion. My ultimate decision was aided by the growing restlessness and general unhappiness of the small humans we had in tow, as well as the pressing fact that the sun wasn't going to wait on us to get out of Kumasi to go down. I also gathered from a glance at my longsuffering husband that he was getting closer and closer to the end of his rope with the little people and was also very uptight about driving home in the dark. I couldn't blame him.

But then there was the problem of the fish. Tuna. At least that's what they had said, but Robert and I couldn't agree on the size of cans they had said. The size I thought we needed was only available with mackerel inside. I was pretty certain that was actually what they meant, but.. they HAD said tuna. We looked at the humongous cans of tuna. I eyed the price. Surely this wasn't the thing. Four nearly 5 lb cans of tuna? A call to pa willie went unanswered. OK. Well. We will just get them. I quick threw two of the mackerel in for good measure. Just in case. We could use them if they didnt need them for the jollaf.

December 24, 2024

I had a full day planned. I needed to make a ton of banana cookies, and groundnuts needed roasted so the gift bags for the children could be put together. There also needed to be rice put into bags for the members gifts. Ghanain Christmas is mostly celebrated the day after Christmas. The children dress in their nice clothes and walk around town asking for their gifts. They mostly get candy or other food related items. Most households will have a big pot of rice or something ready and will visit each other in the late afternoon as well. Some of them will also ask for gifts.

Tiwah stopped in to drop off the huge stew pots and talk about what to expect. She also looked over what I had bought, telling me I had done well. (Insert a large sigh of relief from me) She said that she would come at 3 to help me get started. She was pretty sure no one would come before that.

The first alarm bells went off in my head. At 3? I thought I had until evening. Why at three? Oh well. I'd make the best of it. Also, I told myself, three probly means 4 or after.

At 1:30 or so I headed to market for green onions and a few things that I hadn't found in the stores. I had not found flour, which was essential for making the banana cookies, but i usually buy in market anyway, so I wasnt concerned. However, the lady i usually buy from said her flour was finished. I asked around, and no flour was to be found in Kyekyewere. Oh dear. Now what?

On the way back from I met two of our member ladies that had just dropped firewood off at the house. I was surprized they had come already. I was also completely unprepared for the ladies to start showing up around 2. None spoke English, but somehow we made it work. Tiwah finally came maybe around 4 o'clock. I was just headed out to try to buy more spices, completely confused. I was so glad she could clear everything up. One of the girls did go to buy a few things but we didn't have to get nearly the amount they were saying to begin with. The chicken was fried in copious anounts of oil and spices, no breading, then put in a laundry basket. Finally the stew was finished. The tuna had really thrown them for a loop as well as the chicken drumsticks. They liked the tuna very well, but we ended up adding "the tuna in the small can and tomato"(mackerel in tomato sauce) for the right flavor. I was very glad I had bought them. I also had completely ditzed out when buying chicken. I meant to get the thighs. They assured me it was ok. It had taken longer than expected so I ended up making rice and the few that were still there ate rice and stew with us. Tewah stayed and helped me clean up outside. Bless her heart. She was exhausted. She left after telling me that they would come at 4 tomorrow morning to get the fires started.

Again, I figured it would surely be more like 5.

I faced the pile of dishes in the kitchen, a huge pot of stew sat in the middle of my kitchen along with a laundry basket of fried chicken, each perched atop a stool to keep the ants out. I had to smile as i remembered their horror at my question of whether should put it in the fridge somehow. It would be cold then!  I measured out the rice for the next morning, tidied up a bit, took my shower... Long story short, bed felt soooo good, but it was very short lived.

December 25, 2024

I awoke to the sound of firewood being chopped in my yard. I rolled over and looked at the time. 4:15. "These people are crazy!", I thought as I stumbled out of bed and got dressed. Robert's phone rang, I rushed to answer it. He hadn't been feeling good last night so I wanted him to sleep for a while yet. Pa Willie was calling to say that they were at my house. Yes. I had heard. I was coming! They needed everything from in the house. Of course Ivan woke up. Thankfully he was happy. He and Beli torked around, quite thrilled that their early morning wakings were not combated on this fine day.

Two more sisters showed up before daybreak. I made some chai tea. We got the rice cooking. 70 cups of rice mind you.  The stew they had made the evening before was only used for the oil and juice it produced. That was poured into the rice for the color and flavor needed. When it was finished they cooled it a bit by spreading it out in big bowls and whatever we could find. Then we transferred it to the ice chest. Once again I had to hide a smile when my insistance on wiping it out first was deemed unnecessary. I told them we had put raw meat in it. Blank stares. They did let me wipe it out tho. I even used vinigar. Lol. As the morning had progressed more and more of the ladies had shown up. Then the men began to trickle in. Robert and the boys set up chairs and benches under the shade of the big mango tree and we sang some Christmas songs and then had a Sunday school lesson. We have two Nigerian Sunday school books that we are working through  on Tuesday evenings. Robert reads the English, then pa willie translates to twi. That was the first lesson we had done here and it was just so neat! It was about teaching the generation to come. There have been serval times we have wished that that topic would come up and it just felt like an answer to prayer. No one had preselected the lesson, it just was there. Our congregation shared their thoughts and questions, they told of their desire for their grown children to be in the church and wondered what they could do different.  I think we have a promising church here in Kyekyewere, but there is a gaping hole. We have a lot of older papas and mamas. They are so wonderful to have, but we wonder who is the church of the future. Many of their children have either never joined or they have left the church. We do have Pa Willie and Tiwah that have children. A whole family in the church is such a strength. Children are being raised with morals and taught about God, and have a knowledge of what the church stands for. We have serval other converts that we have hopes for. They would also help fill in the age gap, but they need to complete their marriage before we came start doctrine. It doesn't seem like that is just terribly important to them.  We pray that soon they will understand the importance of it... please join us!

Anyway. I got a little sidetracked there.

After the service the ladies all hurried to put the food in takeout containers. Eaxh one contanted Jollof rice and a chicken drumstick.  They were all so full that they couldn't even close. Everyone got their containers and water satchels. A few were made up for family that couldn't make it, but not a lot of that even.  It was all gone. We all had enough. They were quite impressed with that feat. It also worked very well to be able to tell anyone who came asking for food that it was finished.

Everyone seemed to clear out pretty quickly. Then pa Willie's joined us to take some rice and stew to the old gramma in our neighboring house, and some to our old mama that doesn't get out anymore.

December 26, 2024

The day was here, and I didn't have anything ready. I had been so determined that it was not gonna be this way. I was so determined to have all the little bags filled and sitting in cookie sheets waiting to be handed out. But, as many people told me before we came here, the mission will make you lay down your own agenda over and over. So, I faced my problem. I had planned to make banana cookies. No flour. I'll ask tiwah for sure if there is no where else to try. After finding out  the other lady was gone, she sent manel to check market one more time. I had just decided we would have to make do. I had some apples that I started slicing. Then he came back! With the flour! Oh I was so happy I almost cried. Soon banana cookies were flying in and out of the over, sacks being filled with groundnuts, children at the gate... we handed put 105 bags of goodies by the end. It was so stressful at first, but once we got in a rhythm, it was actually very enjoyable. By the end of the day we were happy and tired. We were invited to Pa Willie's for a special christmas meal. It was good, and so nice to be with friends, but oh how our bed felt so good that night!!!

Many people wondered if we were terribly homesick over Christmas. I think I can honestly say that we faired quite well. Robert does much better at keeping up with people than I do, and I think that did make him feel a little more left out. I tend to just forget everything when I'm busy. I know that if I talk to people I start to feel a long ways away. I often just avoid it for that reason. I know that's not the answer. I know it's something I need to work with... it's hard to find the middle of the road. I want to be present here. I love Ghana so much. I can't imagine leaving this place. When I think of our life back in the states, of our friends and family, oh. I miss you. I wish you could see my Ghana. But if I think of it too much, it overwhelmes me. I know that when I hear about how life there is I will wonder about what our life will be in the future. Our lives are here right now. You all are carrying on, as you should. I have a lot of unidentified feelings around it. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I knew what our life was gonna look like when we came back. In a way it feels like I don't have visiual ties. I don't have any idea what kind of house I'll come back to. I don't know what Robert will do for work. I don't know what kind of dreams are realistic. But at the same time, Iowa is our home. I had a lot more homesickness after the holidays. I saw the statuses of people going home. I wished that we could just quick see some family for a week and then pop back over to Ghana as easily. Another aspect was that it was hard to imagine it being Christmas back home. People ice skating and being cold and bundling up seems somehow odd when it's 91°F . I have checked the temp serval times when I am cold and it often will be 78. I had to think that this was more likely what the actual weather surrounding the birth of Jesus was. There are a lot of parallels in that category I could draw but this is already so so long. So I'll sign off.

Love you all! We miss you and pray for you! We feel your prayers and oh they help us so much! Thank you...

**I did not realize that 20 kilos is, in fact, 44 pounds and some change until I just now looked it up. I have grown to love head-carrying, and after some research I found a few interesting facts that confirmed my beliefs. Below are some of the things I have noticed, along with some facts. I have listed two credible resources. Both are very interesting to read if you are interested.

1. Head carrying is highly efficient when walking any distance, or in any type of crowded area.

2. It has helped my posture an incredible amount.

3. It uses different muscles, but the muscles it uses are actually better equiped for the load. While initially I was sore after carrying even items of minimal weight, my muscles have gotten used to it, and now I have come to believe they actually are overall much more relaxed than prior to head-carrying.

4. After some trial and error I found that different types of loads work better when paired with a specific style of head cushion. The second article below goes into detail.

5. I can not imagine carrying Madison on my hip and carrying a 45lb bag on my shoulder all the way back from market without stopping serval times and being completely exhausted. It is not a problem when I wrap her on my back and put a basket full of purchases on my head. I will arrive home tired, ready for a cold drink, but after some recharge time I'll be ready to make supper. It takes less effort and energy. The second article is quite in depth on some of this. I borrowed the following from there. "Research has shown that people can carry loads of up to 20% of their own body weight without expending any extra energy beyond what they’d use by walking."

https://movementum.co.uk/journal/head-loading

https://www.bu.edu/articles/2024/how-people-carry-heavy-loads-on-their-heads/